Saturday, December 26, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Puppy Size
Posted by Nicole King at 6:53 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
The Farmer's Donkey
One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.
The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer
tried to figure out what to do.
MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you try to cover your .....,
it always comes back to bite you.
Posted by Nicole King at 6:46 AM 0 comments
Sunday, September 20, 2009
School
since I received my Associates Degree at
Snow College in 2001.
School has proven difficult! What was I thinking
when I decided to go back to school?????
I often have to remind myself the reasons...
1. A better job..a job that I will enjoy and can be
creative while doing it.
2. A better life for my family...hopefully with the
skills I learn at school I will be able to give my
family a better life...not living pay check to pay
check and robbing Peter to pay Paul.
3. An example to my children. I am hoping that
by going back to school I will be able to set a
great example to my kids to show them they
can do what they want! Not to let ANYTHING
stand in their way!
4. To prove to myself that I can still learn and
grow! That I am still able to give my opinion and
have my voice heard! After such a long time of
NOT being able to have my OWN opinion I can
finally speak my mind. Which is funny I was told
this week at work I need to keep my opinion to
myself and not be so opinionated. Well, fui on the
that!! MY OPINION IS IMPORTANT AND DON'T
TELL ME IT IS NOT!!!
5. Because I can! I have the support of my
wonderful husband and my great children!
Others that are supportive of my decision!
Well, web design world here I come!!
Posted by Nicole King at 4:06 PM 0 comments
Monday, September 14, 2009
WET PANTS
As the teacher is walking toward him,
Posted by Nicole King at 9:34 AM 0 comments
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Golf anyone???
AT THE PUBLIC GOLF COURSE
(Amherst, Mass.)
First, is this your correct phone number?
weeks from Friday. What's the weather
going to be like that day?
but I'm running late. Can you still get me out early?
where you can buy a bucket of golf balls
and hit them for practice?
tomorrow between 12 o'clock and noon.
tee times around 10 o'clock?
Caller: How much to play golf today?
Staff: 25 to walk, 38 with a cart.
Caller:38 dollars?
Staff: No, 38 yen.
Caller: What do you have for tee times tomorrow?
Staff: What time would you like?
Caller: What times do you have?
Staff: What time of the day?
Caller: Any time.
Staff: Morning or afternoon?
Staff: We have 16 times open in the morning
and 20 open in the afternoon.
Would you like me to read the whole list?
Caller: No, I don't think any of those times will work for me.
Caller: Do you have a dress code?
Staff: Yes, we do. We require soft spikes.
Caller: How about clothes?
Staff: Yes, you have to wear clothes.
Caller:Yes, do you have a driving range there?
Staff: Yes.
Caller: How much for a bucket of large balls?
Staff: Sorry, we're all out of large balls.
But we can give you twice as many
small balls for the same price.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Can I get a tee time for tomorrow?
Staff: Sure, what time would you like?
Caller: Something between 9 o'clock and 10 o'clock. In the morning, if possible.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you rent golf clubs there?
Staff: Yes, they're 25 dollars.
Caller: How much to rent a bag?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, my husband just called me
on his cell phone and told me
he's on the 15th hole.
How many more holes does he
have to play before he gets to the 18th?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, do you have a driving range there?
Staff: Yes.
Caller: How much for a large bucket?
Staff: Four dollars.
Caller: Does that include the balls?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Do you have a twilight rate?
Staff: Yes, it's 15 dollars after 2 o'clock.
Caller: And what time does that start?
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: Yes, I'd like some info about your golf course.
Staff: OK, what would you like to know?
Caller: I don't know, that's why I called.
Staff: Golf course, may I help you?
Caller: My kids just came home with
pockets full of range balls and said they
stole them from your driving range.
Would you like to buy them back?
Okay I don't play golf but these were funny!!
Posted by Nicole King at 7:23 PM 0 comments
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I did it!!
Posted by Nicole King at 8:05 AM 1 comments
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
THIS ONE IS SOOOOOOOO TRUE -
I would never trade my amazing friends,
will never know the joy of being imperfect.
Posted by Nicole King at 10:48 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
MAXINE~ gotta love her!!!
I love Maxine
Her sarcasm!!
She is a hoot!!
She makes me laugh
so hard!!!
I wish I could say things
straight out like she does
not just once in awhile but all the time!!
Posted by Nicole King at 6:16 PM 0 comments
Sunday, August 9, 2009
I'm doing it
for classes to start.
I figured if I could tell my customers that they
could work and go to school I could do it too!
I have always wanted to do computer
programming and web design.
I tried once and I had a teach that didn't "think"
women could do programming or anything
on the computer. So he was NOT any help at
all. Back in the day I wasn't strong enough to
say listen here you jerk....I can do this and you will
help me do it!!!
Well, now I am strong enough and I have a school that
believes that women can be in the programming field!
I am so excited to start! Then graduate!! WHOHOO!!!
and FINALLY do something I enjoy doing!
WISH ME LUCK!!
Posted by Nicole King at 7:31 PM 1 comments
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Four things you can't recover:
The word.........after it's said.
The occasion........after it's missed.
The time...........after it's gone.
Posted by Nicole King at 7:05 PM 0 comments
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Just some thoughts
Posted by Nicole King at 8:12 AM 0 comments
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Mayonnaise Jar & Two Beers
too much to handle, when 24 hours
in a day are not enough,
remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.
A professor stood before his
philosophy class and had
some items in front of him.
When the class began, he wordlessly
picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to
fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was..
The professor then picked up a box of
pebbles and poured them
into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the
open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students
again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box
of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced
two Beers from under the table
and poured the entire contents
into the jar effectively filling
the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed..
'Now,' said the professor as the
laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that
this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things---
your family, your children, your health,
your friends and your favorite passions---
and if everything else was lost and
only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things
that matter like your job, your house and your car..
The sand is everything else---the small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,'
he continued, 'there is no room
for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and
energy on the small stuff you
will never have room for the
things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Spend time with your children.
Spend time with your parents.
Visit with grandparents.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your spouse out to dinner.
Play another 18..
There will always be time to
clean the house and fix the disposal.
Take care of the golf balls first---
the things that really matter.
Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand.
One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the Beer represented.
The professor smiled and said,
'I'm glad you asked.'
The Beer just shows you that no
matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple
of Beers with a friend.
Posted by Nicole King at 6:34 PM 0 comments
Monday, July 13, 2009
To be 10 again!!
A man was sitting on the edge
of the bed, observing his wife,
looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off
he asked, what she'd like to have for her
birthday.
'I'd like to be ten again',
she replied, still looking in
the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday,
he arose early, made her a
nice big bowl of Lucky Charms,
and then took her to Thorpe
Park theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park;
the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear,
the Screaming Monster Roller
coaster,everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered
out of the theme park.
Her head was reeling
and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a
McDonald's where
he ordered her a Happy Meal
with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie,
popcorn, a soda pop, and her
favorite candy, M&M's.
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home
with her husband and collapsed
into bed exhausted. He leaned
over his wife with a big smile
and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear,
what was it like being ten again?'
Her eyes slowly opened and her
expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'
The moral of the story:
Even when a man is listening,
he is gonna get
it wrong.
Posted by Nicole King at 10:32 PM 0 comments